This was said to me by a well meaning father once as our children played together at a soft play centre. Heidi had just started crawling and was understandably very proud of herself, she was wriggling around on the floor with a beaming smile on her face, this she directed at the man whose daughter was running around and playing with Heidi. Being a rather charming little girl the man started talking to her, and eventually me. After chatting for awhile the man is watching Heidi crawling and comes out with ‘wow, isn’t she advanced’, now don’t get me wrong I was so proud of Heidi but she was 18 months old and had only just started crawling, so I don’t think advanced was quite the right word! But she was also the size of your average 3 month old, so I can understand why he said it, I just smiled and nodded and tried to carry the conversation on. It didn’t work…’So how old is she?’ ‘well’ I mutter under my breath ‘about 18 months’…a look of confusion crosses his face, and then realisation that he may not have said the most appropriate thing. I politely return the question ‘how old is your little girl?’ I wonder why his face starts to turn a little bit pink, and then he answers rather sheepishly ’10 months’. WTF that huge toddler running around is 10 months!! Is he saying it just to wind me up or is she really the worlds most advanced child?? ‘Isn’t she doing well’ I say, after a few more minutes of awkward chatting we go our separate ways.
As a parent to preemies you come across so many assumptions that are made about your child, some more frustrating than others. This assumption was one of the positive ones, in comparison to some others that have been made about Heidi, although slightly embarrassing for the man!
I have to admit I did find seeing him squirm quite enjoyable, does this make me a bad person, or just a preemie mum??
Just a preemie mum I think! (or normal)
ReplyDeleteThis post is all too familiar! I had a similar experience recently when Wriggles started crawling at just shy of 18 months at a baby group. "Why is she crawling? James isn't, it's not fair!" said a fellow mum. "Because she is at least 9 months older than your son."
As you say, at least a positive assumption compared to some rubbish people come out with. I'm sure she was very advanced....and far nicer than the other baby!
I dont know why parents always have to ask the very stupid question 'how old is she?' - what they actually mean is, is my kid more advanced than your kid? You should just reply 'You win...now would you like a sticker?'
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