Look for the positives

As a parent of a premature you get used to hearing lots of different reactions when people find out. Some people are genuinely caring and supportive (these are very few and far between, unless they also happen to be a premmie parent!) others know exactly how you feel, why, their cousin had a baby that spent a few days in NICU, so of course they know how I as a parent of a 27 weeker who spent 3 months NICU feels. The kind that you encounter most frequently are the people who really don't know what to say and clearly don't want to carry on the conversation, so they say the first positive thing they can think of while they are busy trying to work out how to get out of the situation!
So here is a list of the oh so helpfully positive things I have been told about having a prem baby

1. Oh bless, so cute and tiny - really? have you ever seen a prem baby, because although they are obviously beautiful to their parents, they are weird looking, kind of like aliens!
2. You must save a fortune on clothes - yes, my baby staying in the same size clothes for six months because she doesn't put on weight doesn't actually worry me because it's saved me some money.
3. You've got a built in babysitter (while the baby is still in hospital) - because the first thing you want to do while your baby is in intensive care is go out clubbing!
4. You can catch up on sleep (while the baby is in hospital) - sleep? what's sleep? because I for one didn't get much during the whole three months.
5. You're so lucky for not going full term - I would rather have gone a month overdue than watch my baby have to go through all the trauma of being early.
6. You're so lucky for not having labour - again, give me labour for a week rather than have an early baby.
7. You've lost lots of weight - stress, coupled with practically inedible hospital food, best diet I know!

Ok, so I realise that I may be coming across as a little bitter when people are just trying to be friendly, but it is really difficult to keep a smile on your face while these things get said to you, no matter how well intentioned they are. I manage most of the time, I have the occasional slip, but for the whole I keep a polite smile on my face then quickly move away, but one day, I don't know when, one day I will not be able to keep the polite smile on, and who knows what will happen then....