I signed up to this blogging lark full of enthusiasm and raring to go, my head was full of ideas, but of course, as soon as I started to write the first post...nothing, all thoughts have left and I'm staring at a blank page with a small feeling of 'oh no' growing inside me. So I started to think about what inspired me to start a blog, basically my children, and I thought back to how it all began....
Once upon a time (3 1/2 years ago), in a land far far away (well, about 10 miles) I sat staring blankly at the doctors as they tried to tell me that even though I've packed my bag and I'm ready to leave the maternity ward, it's not going to happen, that's it, I had become an inmate. At 26 weeks pregnant the thought of spending weeks, as I then thought it would be, stuck in a room on my own, was sending me stir crazy after only a few hours! I had been told that I was to stay in until the baby arrived, which they assured me would be weeks, the plan was to get me to at least 30 weeks. None of this really meant anything to me, I was happily naive about the whole thing and my only thought was how was I going to cope without my film and book collection. Four days later and I was whisked off to the labour ward to be prepped for an emergency c-section as the pre-eclampsia had progressed far quicker than had been anticipated, several hours and lots of morphine later I was wheeled down to NICU to meet my baby for the first time.
Heidi was born at 27+2 weeks gestation and weighed 2lbs. When we met for the first time I could just about make out a tiny scrap of red through the condensation on the incubator walls, and under all the tubes and wires and a green hat that seemed to cover her entire body.
My first memories of meeting my baby are of lying next to her incubator and having morphine filled dreams about watching Queen perform live! Which, in my drug addled state inspired me to want to name her Freddy, luckily, I think, I waited several days, until I stopped having morphine and finally named her Heidi.
So, feeling completely lost and scared, but humming 'Don't Stop Me Now' to myself, Heidi and I began the long journey home.
It's funny the things that stick in your head and become associated! I think Heidi is a bit snazzier than Freddy though :)
ReplyDeleteYour comment about naively thinking about film and book collection rather than the reality made me smile. I remember when I realised I was going to give birth at home before anyone got there and all I could think of was "Help, I'm going to make a terrible mess of the carpet and it'll take ages to clean up!"