And then there were two

About two years after lying on the operating table while having a c-section with my first, and swearing I would never have any more children, I fell ill with a mysterious sickness bug! I know, it sounds obvious already doesn’t it, but I went along, naively complaining that the bug was lasting longer than 24 hours, and why was it only affecting me? After some gentle persuasion from a friend (Lisa, will you please do a bloody pregnancy test!) I finally bought a test and did it early one morning, I was so confident in the result, as I knew I was definitely NOT pregnant, that I even went back to sleep before looking at the results, then when I woke about 20 minutes later and blearily looked at the stick to see the word (yes, you guessed it) pregnant I was sent into a mild panic. My friend who had persuaded me to take the test received an early morning phone call over the result, because obviously it was her fault!

You see, it wasn’t that I didn’t want any more children, but after spending three months in the NICU with my first, it wasn’t an experience I wanted to repeat, which the doctors had done a good job at persuading me would happen if I had anymore children. So off I went to see my consultant, only to be faced with another doctor, someone who did a fantastic job at sending me into even more of a panic, he declared that the baby would definitely be born before 27 weeks and smaller than 2lbs, he then asked why I was looking upset! After some serious foot stamping and tantrum throwing on my part I saw my consultant, who managed to undo the panic that his colleague had sent me into.

The pregnancy wasn’t the easiest, and I had several stays in hospital, at my 34 week appointment (by this stage I was seeing my consultant and having weekly scans) I was told that I was having the baby now, and to be honest, I was so pleased to get that far I felt quite happy with that, or maybe it was because the consultant looked a lot like Derren Brown, so I may have just looked into his eyes too much. So I went up for my second c-section, which this time I had under general anaesthetic, and several hours later I was wheeled down the corridor to meet baby number two, and have take two at the NICU.

It was a slightly bizarre feeling to be going there again, but made easier knowing that this baby would be a lot healthier and need a lot less help than my first. Elsie Rose weighed a hefty 5lb 13oz and required a day, just one day, on cpap.  She stayed on the unit for just under 4 weeks, and then the hard work really started, two children at home, what had I let myself in for!

When I Grow Up....

Heidi, at the grand old age of three and a half, has already chosen her career. She wants to be a nurse, that looks after sick babies. This honestly could not make me prouder, my little girl who needed so much looking after when she was a baby, wants to give back and give some much needed love and attention to future babies who may need it.
Lets face it, what with all her stays in hospital, Heidi certainly has a bit of a heads up on the nursing front! She knows what most of the pieces of equipment are for, she can dismantle a nebuliser in less than 30 seconds, she knows how to take blood pressure, temperature and how to use a stethoscope, on one occasion even placing the end of it in the right place because the doctor was taking too long to do it himself! She associates syringes with canulas and taking blood, rather than giving medicine, and now swallows the most vile of medicines without a flinch. She smiles beautifully for her x-rays and likes to help when being scanned. It is often commented on by doctors and nurses about how knowledgeable she is about anything medical, and she looks forward to trips to see the doctors like a trip to the park.
Heidi had further chance to practice her nursing skills when my second daughter was born at 34 weeks and spent time on the same NNU as her. I got to show her all the pieces of equipment that helped her, and introduce her to the nurses that cared for her. Heidi then used this knowledge to start looking after her little sister, 'Mummy, Elsie is beeping, I press this!' Heidi then starts to fiddle with the incubator oxygen levels and any other buttons she can get her little fingers on.
Although all of this, and the fact that my little girl apparently makes the perfect patient, makes me incredibly proud, it is also tinged with sadness, she shouldn't know all of this at such a young age, and my heart breaks just a little bit when she comes out with some piece of new medical knowledge she has picked up at her last visit, but these are the experiences that shape our lives, and although it's been hard, life with Heidi is fantastic :)

Oh, change of plan, Heidi has just told me she wants to be a chef when she grows up.....on TV!

I dream of Freddy

I signed up to this blogging lark full of enthusiasm and raring to go, my head was full of ideas, but of course, as soon as I started to write the first post...nothing, all thoughts have left and I'm staring at a blank page with a small feeling of 'oh no' growing inside me. So I started to think about what inspired me to start a blog, basically my children, and I thought back to how it all began....
Once upon a time (3 1/2 years ago), in a land far far away (well, about 10 miles) I sat staring blankly at the doctors as they tried to tell me that even though I've packed my bag and I'm ready to leave the maternity ward, it's not going to happen, that's it, I had become an inmate. At 26 weeks pregnant the thought of spending weeks, as I then thought it would be, stuck in a room on my own, was sending me stir crazy after only a few hours! I had been told that I was to stay in until the baby arrived, which they assured me would be weeks, the plan was to get me to at least 30 weeks. None of this really meant anything to me, I was happily naive about the whole thing and my only thought was how was I going to cope without my film and book collection. Four days later and I was whisked off to the labour ward to be prepped for an emergency c-section as the pre-eclampsia had progressed far quicker than had been anticipated, several hours and lots of morphine later I was wheeled down to NICU to meet my baby for the first time.
Heidi was born at 27+2 weeks gestation and weighed 2lbs. When we met for the first time I could just about make out a tiny scrap of red through the condensation on the incubator walls, and under all the tubes and wires and a green hat that seemed to cover her entire body.
My first memories of meeting my baby are of lying next to her incubator and having morphine filled dreams about watching Queen perform live! Which, in my drug addled state inspired me to want to name her Freddy, luckily, I think, I waited several days, until I stopped having morphine and finally named her Heidi.
So, feeling completely lost and scared, but humming 'Don't Stop Me Now' to myself, Heidi and I began the long journey home.